#42: Now I want some Christmas cookies
For years my dad has been the hardest person to shop for at Christmas. He likes books, but I never know what he has read. He likes tools, but I never know which ones he’ll actually use. He loves gadgets and that’s pretty much what I’ve gotten away with giving him for the past 26 years of my life. (Good grief, I just wrote “past 24 years of my life.” I’m losing my mind in my advanced years.) (27 tomorrow!)
The first Christmas Sir and I were an official couple, I thought, “Wonderful! A male counterpart who can give me insight into what a dad/man would want for Christmas!” Instead what I got was another male in my life with ambiguous desires. Not only was Sir quite often uncommitted about what he wanted, but when he did finally decide, he’d up and buy it for himself mere days before the holiday. I must have returned a dozen Christmas gifts those first few years we were together. Last year I specifically told him what he was not allowed to buy for himself (up to and including underwear and socks) between October 19 (his birthday) and December 25. This year we have instituted Christmas lists and I have already had to talk him out of impulse buying a couple of items he wants.
Yes, I thought Sir was going to ease my holiday shopping stress, but nope! (Who loves you, baby?) Especially since not only does he rarely know what he wants, he doesn’t have the foggiest idea of what to get his family. It’s not like he spent 20+ years of his life getting them gifts without me or anything.
That leaves me with a hard-to-buy-for dad and husband AND a whole other set of new family members for which I need to shop. I think I’ve done pretty well with the gifts I’ve picked out so far for the women of both families (I hope so anyway. Please smile and nod and wait to trash the gift until after I’ve gone!), but damn if I’m not stuck on the dads again this year. I even got a Christmas list from one of them and I’m still stumped.
I’ve been to the edge of the internet and back, even consulting the “get the perfect gift!” profiles on some websites, but I still haven’t found anything that says “Dad” to me. And I really don’t want to be the loser who has to schlep her way into the mall on the night of Christmas Eve. Speaking which, Sir prefers to do all of his holiday shopping at the absolute last minute on Christmas Eve. This preference completely baffles me. I like to get all my shopping out of the way early and put all the pretty packages under the tree on Christmas Eve so I can partake in more meaningful Christmas activities such as gorging myself on cookies and other fine holiday-type delicacies, like green and red M&Ms.
Does anyone else like the last-minute shopping? I know my dad does. Is it a man thing? Or are there just people who’d rather not take part in the Starbucks-fueled crowd of crazed holiday shoppers dragging their screaming children to Santa Claus and elbowing their way to the front of cashier lines for that monogrammed sweater Grandad MUST have and another new toaster for Aunt Sue?
Ok, when I say it like that, it almost does sound better to be able to roam the roomy, deserted hallways of a Christmas Eve mall that are littered with the remnants of plastic holiday bags, soft pretzel wrappers and framed by the defeated smiles of another generation of minimum-wage store clerks who have been brain-washed from listening to the same six Christmas songs for the past three months.
To me, shopping online is the best choice. I can do it wearing pajamas while on the couch where, without moving more than my arm, I can reach my glass of wine, my M&Ms, and my Ipod. (Which is loaded with Christmas music – six songs, on repeat actually. Heh.)
Now what was I talking about? Oh yeah, stupid men and their stupid hard-to-buy-for...ness. Why do I stress about this, seriously? They would be happy with anything I got them. Or pretend to be in my presence. (Maybe I should make them all hand-made ashtrays – none of the smoke – and try that theory out.) It’s just that the best part of Christmas for me is when someone opens a gift they really like, one that they didn’t even know they wanted but are thrilled all over themselves that they got. Now which do ya’ll think says “I’m a big fan of yours, big guy” better - a Hillary Nutcracker or Pop Art Holiday-Theme Toaster?
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The first Christmas Sir and I were an official couple, I thought, “Wonderful! A male counterpart who can give me insight into what a dad/man would want for Christmas!” Instead what I got was another male in my life with ambiguous desires. Not only was Sir quite often uncommitted about what he wanted, but when he did finally decide, he’d up and buy it for himself mere days before the holiday. I must have returned a dozen Christmas gifts those first few years we were together. Last year I specifically told him what he was not allowed to buy for himself (up to and including underwear and socks) between October 19 (his birthday) and December 25. This year we have instituted Christmas lists and I have already had to talk him out of impulse buying a couple of items he wants.
Yes, I thought Sir was going to ease my holiday shopping stress, but nope! (Who loves you, baby?) Especially since not only does he rarely know what he wants, he doesn’t have the foggiest idea of what to get his family. It’s not like he spent 20+ years of his life getting them gifts without me or anything.
That leaves me with a hard-to-buy-for dad and husband AND a whole other set of new family members for which I need to shop. I think I’ve done pretty well with the gifts I’ve picked out so far for the women of both families (I hope so anyway. Please smile and nod and wait to trash the gift until after I’ve gone!), but damn if I’m not stuck on the dads again this year. I even got a Christmas list from one of them and I’m still stumped.
I’ve been to the edge of the internet and back, even consulting the “get the perfect gift!” profiles on some websites, but I still haven’t found anything that says “Dad” to me. And I really don’t want to be the loser who has to schlep her way into the mall on the night of Christmas Eve. Speaking which, Sir prefers to do all of his holiday shopping at the absolute last minute on Christmas Eve. This preference completely baffles me. I like to get all my shopping out of the way early and put all the pretty packages under the tree on Christmas Eve so I can partake in more meaningful Christmas activities such as gorging myself on cookies and other fine holiday-type delicacies, like green and red M&Ms.
Does anyone else like the last-minute shopping? I know my dad does. Is it a man thing? Or are there just people who’d rather not take part in the Starbucks-fueled crowd of crazed holiday shoppers dragging their screaming children to Santa Claus and elbowing their way to the front of cashier lines for that monogrammed sweater Grandad MUST have and another new toaster for Aunt Sue?
Ok, when I say it like that, it almost does sound better to be able to roam the roomy, deserted hallways of a Christmas Eve mall that are littered with the remnants of plastic holiday bags, soft pretzel wrappers and framed by the defeated smiles of another generation of minimum-wage store clerks who have been brain-washed from listening to the same six Christmas songs for the past three months.
To me, shopping online is the best choice. I can do it wearing pajamas while on the couch where, without moving more than my arm, I can reach my glass of wine, my M&Ms, and my Ipod. (Which is loaded with Christmas music – six songs, on repeat actually. Heh.)
Now what was I talking about? Oh yeah, stupid men and their stupid hard-to-buy-for...ness. Why do I stress about this, seriously? They would be happy with anything I got them. Or pretend to be in my presence. (Maybe I should make them all hand-made ashtrays – none of the smoke – and try that theory out.) It’s just that the best part of Christmas for me is when someone opens a gift they really like, one that they didn’t even know they wanted but are thrilled all over themselves that they got. Now which do ya’ll think says “I’m a big fan of yours, big guy” better - a Hillary Nutcracker or Pop Art Holiday-Theme Toaster?
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posted by Sun at 1:46 PM
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