#15.5 Tantalizing tidbits just to keep you hanging on

So you all liked the fairy tale, huh? I love that I can try out new writing styles here and you all just accept it, usually with open arms and praise. Not that you have much of a choice, you're kind of a captive audience (Bwah ha ha).

If you want to read more fairy tale type mush, visit The Column's Home on the Web at www.suntrails.blogspot.com to read "The Story of Sir - More or Less (or How I got a Free Vacation to Mississippi)."

That's right, a FREE vacation. How? Because Sir's parents are awesome. In 22 days I fly down south to visit Sir's high school and college home, see his mom again, swim in their pool, eat what apparently is the best Mexican food in Mississippi, drink at Sir's college bars and just generally laze about. I love vacations.

You know what else I love? The Timberwolves, Minnesota's NBA team. Especially when they are winning and putting all those doubters in LA to shame. But no more about that. Wouldn't want to jinx them. Go Wolves! Hooooooowl!

It's been so long since the last Column because I really just have nothing to write about. Except the vacation. Which is, at this moment, 23 days 21 hours and 6 minutes away. (Not that I'm counting.) And the fact that I get to go shopping for the vacation. My summer clothes are all (let me revel in this, I don't get to say it often) too big. By a lot. I was going to wash and wax my car the other day and went to put on the obligatory cut-offs one wears when one is a girl and washing a car, and I had to roll the waist over twice before they would even sort-of stay up.

So I need a new summer wardrobe. Unfortunately I can't afford a whole new wardrobe so a couple of pieces will have to do. And I suppose if I'm buying some new outfits, I'll have to buy some new shoes. (This just keeps getting better and better!)

Anyway. This is just a quick update to let you all know I'm alive and to promise you bigger and better Column's to come. (I have lots of stuff planned over the next couple of weekends... No. I'm not going to tell you that. Because it would ruin the surprise!) Now. Back to your much more interesting lives. Go on. Shoo.

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The Story of Sir (more or less)

(Or, How I Got a Free Vacation to Mississippi)

Once upon a time there was a noble Knight who, in pursuit of a better future for himself, had traveled far from his native lands upon his stunning, black-as-night mustang.

The trip had been arduous. The Knight had had to battle evil sleep demons and often traveled several hundred miles without food and rest for his mustang. But he had, as he always did, triumphed, making it to the Northern Lands in one piece.

He had had many adventures since traveling to the North. Soon after he arrived he met a Princess of Quite A Lot. She had shown him the wonders of her almost-native land such as a palace built entirely of ice, wind that could freeze uncovered parts of a person's flesh in a matter of minutes and the beauty of the spring moon's reflection in a calm lake. The Princess had also shown the Knight how to unstick a stuck mustang from snow and ice that surely would have been the Knight's undoing.

As the mountains of snow began to melt and slowly trickle into spring, the Knight began to miss his homeland. He missed the blue canopy of sky, the twinge of salt air from the ocean, the waving palm trees and the way the warm air wrapped itself around you. He longed for his fellow knights (in a completely masculine, drinking-buddies sort of way) to carouse with. He missed the way the serving wenches at the local pubs in his hometown always knew what he wanted without even having to ask.

The Princess saw that the Knight yearned for his homeland and wondered what she could do to help. She introduced him to her royal entourage, entertained him at her local pubs and eateries and showed him all the places in this part of the Northern Lands that she considered home. She showed him the small lake town where she had grown up, with its tall pine trees and small shops, and the city where she had been schooled, with its buzzing energy and unpredictable parking limitations.

She amused him with sporting events, comedic jesters, and theater (albeit amateur).

The Princess even attempted some of the Knight's activities. However, her uncoordinated nature did not serve her well in accomplishing many of them. In many cases, she resigned to just sit and look pretty while supporting the Knight's involvement.

However the capricious weather and expensive lifestyle of the North were not to the Knight's liking. However, the Knight knew his mustang could not live up to another trip of any serious length. The Knight also knew he did not have the means it would take to travel back to his homeland for a visit.

His father was visiting the Northern lands for a brief time and the Knight decided to embark on an endeavor he rarely attempted: asking for help.

Late one night, he sought his father for advice.

"Son," his father said, "you ask for so little, let me do something for you." As if by magic, the Knight's father produced two passes for travel to the Southern Lands.

"But one is all I require," the Knight told his father.

"Use the extra pass for the Princess," his father advised.

At their next meeting, the Knight recounted to the Princess all that had transpired. "He didn't have to do that," the Princess said, awed at the Knight's father's generosity.

The Knight excitedly told the Princess about his homeland, about the sky, his fellow knights and the local pubs. He could not wait to show her what his home was like. She could not wait to see it.

The End... for now.

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